Strengthening Your Happiness Muscles

This week, I find myself reflecting on the idea of strengthening our “happiness muscles”—an intentional practice of seeking and savoring joy even amidst life’s challenges. It’s not just about reducing pain or avoiding discomfort; it’s about actively building our capacity for joy. This concept feels deeply personal and practical, especially as I think about the ways our emotional health impacts every facet of our well-being.

When we’re feeling sad or overwhelmed, it’s easy to skip out on experiences that might bring us happiness.

Yet research shows that engaging in those moments, even when it feels like a stretch, can significantly boost our overall well-being. Psychologists call this ability to seek out and savor joy “reward sensitivity,” and like any skill, it’s one we can cultivate.

I’ve seen this in action, both in my own life and with clients. It’s the small but powerful act of stepping into joy—of noticing the light moments amidst the heavy ones. The shift is often subtle at first—a moment of laughter, a deep breath, or a sense of calm—but it grows. Over time, these moments accumulate, creating a foundation of resilience and a more balanced life.

So how do we strengthen our happiness muscles?

For me, it begins with the practice of savoring. Savoring is about fully immersing yourself in positive experiences, no matter how small. Start by planning a daily activity that brings you happiness or a sense of accomplishment. It could be as simple as enjoying your favorite snack, calling a friend, or reading a book. Afterward, take a moment to reflect. Close your eyes and recount the experience in vivid detail. Where were you? What did you feel, smell, or hear? Describe it as if you were reliving the moment. This practice deepens your memory of the experience and motivates you to seek out future joys.

Another strategy is to expand your emotional vocabulary. Go beyond generic words like “good” or “fine” and choose descriptors like “exhilarated,” “serene,” or “grateful.” Sharing your “highlight reel” with others can also help—not just recounting what went well, but diving into what made the moments meaningful. By consciously focusing on the positive, you train your brain to notice and amplify those experiences.

One of the most transformative lessons I’ve learned is to give myself permission to feel joy, even during difficult times.

Moments of lightness don’t diminish legitimate pain or struggle—they enhance our ability to cope. By leaning into joy, we’re not ignoring the hard parts of life; we’re giving ourselves the fuel we need to move through them.

Strengthening our happiness muscles isn’t just about recognizing the fleeting moments of joy. It’s about building a resilient, joyful life—one where we actively seek, savor, and amplify the positive. By doing so, we nurture both our mental and physical health, creating a foundation for thriving in all areas of life.