Building Resilience: How to Bounce Back and Thrive (Part 1)
Resilience is a topic of both personal and professional importance to me. In my own life, I’ve had to cultivate it—especially in the wake of losing both of my parents within a very short period of time. As a health and wellness coach, I regularly meet people navigating chronic illness, grief, trauma, and the emotional strain of uncertain times. And yet, time and again, I witness something remarkable: some individuals not only endure—they adapt, grow, and even thrive. What sets them apart? Resilience.
What Is Resilience?
Resilience isn’t about having a tough exterior or pretending everything is okay. At its core, resilience is the ability to adapt positively in the face of adversity. It's a dynamic process that draws on both internal strengths and external supports. Contrary to the belief that you're either born with it or not, research shows resilience is something that can be cultivated across the lifespan.
We know from decades of research—including studies on children who faced maltreatment, trauma survivors, and people living through chronic adversity—that resilience is not a fixed trait. It varies based on context, life stage, relationships, community support, and even genetics. This means resilience looks different in each person and can change over time.
Why It Matters for Your Health
Chronic stress and adversity, particularly without stable support systems, can disrupt the development of the brain and body. This can increase the risk of physical illness, mental health challenges, and behavioral problems throughout life. Conversely, when we build resilience, we increase our ability to recover from setbacks and reduce the long-term effects of stress.
Not everyone who faces adversity ends up struggling long-term. In fact, studies show that a significant portion of individuals who experience abuse, poverty, illness, or trauma go on to lead healthy, fulfilling lives. What makes the difference are the protective factors—the inner qualities and external supports—that foster resilience.
Sources of Resilience
What are some of these protective factors?
Personal strengths: Traits like optimism, self-esteem, emotional regulation, flexibility, and cognitive skills (like problem-solving and meaning-making) all play a role. Even a small shift in how we perceive an event can shape how we respond to it.
Relationships: Secure attachments, supportive friendships, and positive adult figures (whether parents, teachers, mentors, or coaches) are essential. They buffer stress and help regulate our nervous systems. In the absence of these figures, a trusted therapist can even play this role.
Biological factors: While genetics do play a role, early nurturing care and ongoing emotional support can influence how our brains and bodies respond to stress.
Community and culture: A sense of belonging, access to services, safe environments, spiritual or faith practices, and cultural identity all provide important support for resilience.
The good news is that you don’t need all of these to be resilient. You start where you are. Resilience grows when you begin to recognize your strengths, deepen relationships, and learn tools to care for your mind, body, and spirit.
In Part 2 of this blog, I’ll offer practical steps and coaching strategies you can use to start building resilience in your daily life. Whether you're dealing with ongoing stress or recovering from a life-altering event, know this: resilience isn’t about bouncing back to who you were before. It’s about growing into a stronger, wiser, more grounded version of yourself.
Stay tuned.
