Creating Safe and Sturdy Boundaries When Your Young Adult Comes Home for the Summer
As an integrative health and wellness coach, I often hear from parents who feel both excited and apprehensive when their young adult returns home for the summer. This transition can be a beautiful time of reconnection, but it can also bring up old patterns, unspoken expectations, and boundary challenges. Creating safe and sturdy boundaries ensures a smoother summer for both you and your young adult.
1. Clarify Expectations Early
Before your child even unpacks, have an open conversation about expectations. Discuss household responsibilities, curfews (if applicable), shared spaces, and how each of you envisions the summer. Rather than assuming things will “just work out,” approach the conversation with curiosity and collaboration.
2. Respect Their Autonomy
Your young adult has likely grown in independence while away. It’s essential to acknowledge this growth and adjust your expectations accordingly. While your home has its rules, allowing them space to make their own choices fosters mutual respect.
3. Prioritize Open Communication
Boundaries should be fluid yet firm. If an issue arises, address it directly and calmly. Use “I” statements to express your feelings rather than placing blame: “I feel frustrated when the kitchen is left messy because I value a clean space.” This keeps the conversation constructive.
4. Maintain Your Own Self-Care
It’s easy to fall back into caregiving habits, but maintaining your personal routines and self-care practices will model healthy boundaries for your child. It also ensures you don’t overextend yourself.
By setting clear expectations, respecting autonomy, communicating openly, and maintaining self-care, you can create a summer that nurtures both connection and independence. Boundaries, when built with love and respect, provide a foundation for a thriving parent-child relationship well beyond the summer months.
